


Routine

by Musical_Fandom



Series: Bad End Oneshots [18]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akechi Goro Needs Therapy, Bad Ending, Depression, Dissociation, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, M/M, One Shot, One-Sided Relationship, Out of Character behavior, Panic Attacks, Psychological Horror, Royal's Bad End, Suicidal Thoughts, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-22
Updated: 2021-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-28 23:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30146931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musical_Fandom/pseuds/Musical_Fandom
Summary: Each day, Goro follows the path laid out for him. Each day, he continues on with his routine.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: Bad End Oneshots [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2168133
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	Routine

The bell above LeBlanc's door chimed happily, announcing Goro's presence. He took a seat at the counter and smiled pleasantly at the man behind it. "Good afternoon Sakura-san."

Sojiro gave a small chuckle at the name. "Come on kid," He walked over to the siphons, ready to prepare the same drink Goro asked for every day. "Call me Boss like everyone else."

"Sorry." He looked down at the counter with a sheepish smile. "I'll remember next time."

"Yeah yeah..." Sojiro waved him off as he continued to prepare Goro's drink. A comfortable silence settled between the two as Goro waited patiently for the coffee. 

This was Goro's routine. He told himself he found comfort in the repetition despite how stifling it felt. Nothing was out of place, Sojiro was always there to make him coffee while he waited for Akira to come home from school. Goro was always ready to greet his boyfriend and Futaba when they got home. When Akira arrived, he would whisk Goro up to the attic where they would spend most of the night together. Goro craved the time he spent with Akira because Akira allowed him to deviate from the routine even if it was only slightly. There were no plans in the attic, just them and what they wanted to do in the moment.

The sound of glass softly clinking drew Goro's attention. He smiled at Sojiro and went to take a sip of his coffee before he paused. The steam still coming off of it told Goro it would burn his throat so he waited until it was cool enough. 

"So," Sojiro began after a few minutes of silence. "Akira told me the two of you were making plans to move in together."

Goro nodded. "I've been looking for a bigger apartment." He took his first sip of coffee noting that he waited too long. It was delicious but not as hot as he liked it. "Hopefully I can find one before the end of the year.

Sojiro gave a small smirk that Goro knew was the most anyone other than Futaba and Wakaba got from him. "Well, even after you find that apartment, _both of you_ are welcome anytime."

Goro opened his mouth to say something only to be cut off by the bell. He quickly turned to Akira and was met with a wide grin. Goro got out of his chair and gave Akira a kiss as he heard Futaba pretend to gag behind them.

"Nice to see you too." Akira laughed. Goro felt his heart do flips. He leaned in right next to Goro's ear. "Want to take this upstairs." Goro felt a shiver go down his spine as Akira whispered the words. He eagerly nodded and followed Akira up the stairs.

.

.

.

_Something shattered._

.

.

.

Akechi glared at Akira who casually sat on his bed. "So how was your day?" He asked with a playful grin.

"I fucking hate you." Akechi found himself sitting on the couch that was actually comfortable now. "I hate this entire bullshit world."

Akira nodded as he went through his bag. He grabbed out a notebook and began working on homework. "So how's the apartment search going?"

"Why even bother asking when you clearly aren't ready to move out?" Akechi crossed his arms and looked at the ceiling. His one break from the monotony of Maruki's world. Of course he could only have it when it was just himself and Akira. It wasn't for _him_ after all, it was for Akira like everything else in this goddamn reality.

"What's on your mind?" Akira didn't look up from his homework but he didn't need to. He knew Akechi well enough to understand that there was always something on his mind. Slowly, Akechi turned his head to Akira. He stared at him for a moment without saying anything before turning back to the ceiling.

Akechi wordlessly counted the plastic stars on the immaculately clean rafters. "You got those from Kitagawa, didn't you?"

"The stars? Yeah, after we went to the planetarium." He stopped writing for a moment. "Why?"

"I was just wondering why you keep them around." He turned to Akira once again. "You didn't care enough about him to respect his wishes, so I was curious."

"Akechi-" Akira stopped himself. They'd gotten into this exact argument before which hadn't led to anything productive. Only Akechi storming out which led to him coming back a few moments later looking thoroughly confused. It hadn't been a particularly good day. 

"What were you going to say? That you actually _care_ about them?" Akechi scoffed. Akira ignored him so he continued, "I wonder how your friends would react if they knew what you did."

Akira silently focused on his math work. He let Akechi go on hoping that he would eventually tire himself out or something. It wasn't particularly likely but he could still hope.

As Akira tuned out Akechi's half manic ranting, something caught his attention, "I can't live like this." Akira dropped his pencil and looked at Akechi as he talked. Akechi glared at him and continued. "This world, every day is the same damn thing."

"It could be worse." Akira said gently. He couldn't help himself. "You could be dead."

"Yes, what a gift you've given me Kurusu." Akira noticed how Akechi dug his nails into his thigh. "I get to alternate between living half a life as a puppet and being stuck with you." Akira moved to the couch and grabbed Akechi's hands. He gently took them away from his thighs and smiled. Goro looked at him for a second in pure awe before his gaze hardened. "Fuck off." He spat as he ripped his hands away. He dug his nails into the couch instead of his leg.

"I don't want you to hurt yourself." He went back to his bed and began on his homework again.

"And I don't want to be alive but we can't always get what we want." Akira just hummed in response.

Akechi curled in on himself on the couch. He didn't say another word for hours as Akira continued to work on his various homework assignments. Meanwhile, Akechi watched as the sun drifted down past the buildings. The sky gradually made its shift from blue to orange to black. Stars littered the sky like spilt glitter despite the contamination of the city lights.

When it was dark, Akira looked out the window. He turned to Akechi with a smile. "It's beautiful out, isn't it?"

"It's fake." Akechi held himself tighter. He lightly trembled as anger flowed through him as naturally as blood. " _All_ of this is _fake_ Akira." He hissed through clenched teeth.

"Not anymore."

Akechi eyed the stairs, debating if he should leave or not. He weighed it in his head but ultimately decided to stay. He hated Akira but this was the only time he didn't have to be under Maruki's direct control.

Akechi sat there for the rest of the night until he felt a familiar pull against his mind. He sharply inhaled before he relaxed. Goro smiled at Akira and stood. "I should be going now." He gave Akira a quick kiss on the cheek before he headed down the stairs.

* * *

The happy chime of the bell grated on Goro's ears as he walked through the door. He gave Sojiro a meaningless greeting before sitting down for coffee that tasted like nothing. He bounced his leg as he anxiously waited for Akira to walk through the door to whisk him away from the soul crushing mundanity of daily life.

The bell gave a happy ring five minutes late. Goro was sure to count each of the three hundred seconds it took for Akira to walk through the door with Futaba.

"Honey, I'm home." He said with a playful smile. The first thing Goro did was kiss him. The second was drag him up the stairs. He didn't know why exactly but he knew relief would come once they could be alone.

.

.

.

_It didn't shatter so much as disintegrate._

.

.

.

Akechi could hardly breathe. He gasped for air as Akira wrapped his arms around him.

"Hey, what's-"

"I can't." He didn't even struggle against Akira's hold. Instantly, Akira knew it was a bad day. He really should have known it would be a bad day when Goro all but forced him into the attic.

"Akechi," He spoke softly. "Hey, take deep breaths."

Akechi tried but he couldn't. Every breath he took him was a shuttering gasp that he had a hard time releasing. He dug his nails into his palms until his hands started shaking. Akira gently took his hands but it didn't do much to stop him.

"It's okay." He rubbed circles on the back of his hand with his thumb. "You'll get through this."

Akechi closed his eyes. He tried to focus on his breathing but it just wouldn't happen. He couldn't take deep breaths. He could hardly hear Akira's voice over the sound of his own heart. He was brought back to the engine room, back when there was a bullet lodged in his lung. When he had begun choking to death on his own blood. 

Akechi's breathing became even more scattered at the thought. He dropped to his knees and held his chest as his gasps for air became more desperate. The world began to spin as Akechi stared at the ground. 

Akira got down next to him and placed a hand on his back. "Just breathe in and out." He wasn't even sure if he could hear him at the point but he wanted to help. "I know you can do it."

Akira watched Akechi give a small nod. He watched him try once again to control his breathing and slowly calm down. Akira pulled him close once he was done gasping for air. Akechi weakly struggled against him but his movements didn't have any real conviction. It took only a second for him to rest his head against Akira's shoulder.

"How are you feeling."

"Like I missed my fucking escape attempt." Akechi lifted his head to glare at Akira before it quickly fell back down again. He closed his eyes and continued to take deep breaths.

"Do you want me to take you home?" He felt Akechi tense in his arms. "Would you rather stay the night?"

"It's better than going back." He admitted. His voice was small and fragile. It made Akira want to hold him tighter but he knew that wouldn't be a good idea.

.

.

.

Goro woke up in Akira's bed. A break in the routine. Something about the prospect _thrilled_ him. He sat up and saw Akira fast asleep on the couch.

Quietly, Goro got out of the bed. He made sure it was nice and neat before he went to Akira. He gave him a kiss on the cheek and watched as the younger boy stirred. He opened his eyes and blink at Goro looking adorably confused as he did so.

"Akechi..?" He sat up and noticed Goro's confused expression. "Oh, right." His face fell for a moment before he smiled. He pulled Goro in for a kiss and the world lit up.

When they broke apart Goro took a seat next to Akira. Akira leaned his head on his shoulder while Goro grabbed his hand and rubbed circles on his palm. "The apartment search hasn't been going well." He announced, still smiling.

"It's not your fault." Akira stared forward. "I'm sure something will come up soon."

Goro hummed. "I hope so." He ran a hand through Akira's hair, pleasantly noting how soft and tangle free it was. "I'm not sure how much longer I can stand to wait."

The two sat together for a few minutes before Akira stood up. Goro frowned at his missing presence. "I have to get ready for school." He explained. "I'll see you in a few hours."

Goro nodded. He headed out, making sure to blow Akira a kiss at the top of the stairs. When he got into the cafe, he noticed a knife sitting in the kitchen area. He stared at it for far longer than he should have before he tore his gaze away. A break in the routine. He headed out, knowing he would be back in a couple hours.

* * *

The bell chimed happily as Goro returned to LeBlanc. "Good afternoon Sakura-san." He said as he took his usual seat.

Sojiro looked at him for a second and smirked. "The usual?"

Goro smiled and nodded. He watched Sojiro move around the cafe with a practiced ease while he made coffee that was only slightly better than Akira's. He smiled at the thought. His boyfriend was so talented, he was proud of him. There was so much about Akira he loved, he knew he was lucky to have him.

The soft clinking of glass broke his train of thought. He smiled and took a sip of his coffee immediately, burning himself in the process. He winced but otherwise didn't react. Some small part of him demanded he take another sip but he ignored it. "Thank you for the coffee Sakura-san." He said with a pleasant smile. Sojiro grunted in acknowledgement before he pulled out a crossword puzzle to work on.

Goro looked around the cafe as he enjoyed his coffee. He noted how there was one spot on the wall that seemed too empty. He wondered if something had been hanging there but quickly discarded the thought. Moving on from that, Goro's eyes caught the knife from that morning, still in the kitchen area. He stared at it and felt his hands begin to twitch. _Something_ was almost calling out to him, demanding he grab the knife. Before he even knew what he was doing, he was standing up from his seat.

Before Goro could get too far, the bell above the door rang. Goro turned to greet his boyfriend with a smile. "Welcome home." He met him right in front of the door and kissed him while ignoring the disgusted sounds Futaba made behind them.

Akira swept him into a tight embrace when Goro pulled away. He kissed Goro again, leaving both of the breathless when they separated.

"Gross, get a room!" Futaba yelled as she took a seat on one of the stools.

Akira stuck out his tongue and let go of Goro. Goro grabbed his hand and led Akira upstairs.

.

.

.

_The world seemed to collapse around him._

.

.

.

Akechi pushed Akira down on the bed. He saw him flinch as he slammed his hands down next to his head. He leaned in quickly and crashed their lips together in a short but aggressive kiss. When he pulled away, he saw Akira's eyes were blown wide.

"Goro-"

Akechi glared at him and put his hand on Akira's mouth while supporting his weight with the other. "Don't you _dare_ fucking call me that." He hissed. Akira nodded and he slowly took away his hand. He positioned himself on the bed so that he was sitting before he pulled Akira up by the shirt into another rough kiss. This one was much longer than before and left them both gasping for breath when Akechi finally let him go. 

Akira looked dazed. He smiled slightly at Akechi before he held his hand to his head. "Why?" He asked after a couple seconds. Akechi didn't answer. Instead he clenched his fists so that his nails dug into his palms. "Akechi-" Akira tried to reach out to him but his hand was smacked away. 

"Don't touch me." Akechi's voice was low and dangerous but Akira didn't back off. He scooted closer to Akechi, making sure that they were close but not touching. A wary glance from Akechi was met with a smirk.

Akechi rolled his eyes. "You're fucking insufferable."

Before Akira had a chance to come up with a comeback, Akechi was kissing him again. He bit down on Akira's lip, _hard_. Akira gasped and broke the kiss. He held his mouth and stared at Akechi for a moment who just glared at him. "What the hell was that for?"

"Did it... hurt?" Akechi's glare softened as he leaned in closer. He grabbed Akira's cheek and smirked. "Do it back Kurusu." He moved past Akira's face until his breath was tickling his ear. "Make me feel something." He whispered.

Akechi pulled back with a confident smirk that didn't meet his eyes. Akira looked at him for a moment as he decided what to do. Suddenly, he moved forward. He gently kissed Akechi only to be pushed away.

"I said make me feel something not fucking coddle me." He glared at Akira for a second before he turned away. Akira noticed how his nails dug into his thigh. It looked like they weren't deep enough in to actually be painful. Akechi followed his gaze and looked away. "You did this to me."

"What are you-"

"I don't want you to hurt yourself." He mocked. "You remember when you said that, don't you?"

Akira was struck with horror as he realized the implication. "I-I didn't-"

"You didn't mean to?" Akechi scoffed. He tried to dig his nails in more until his hand shook but his hand refused to move down anymore. "I have a hard time believing that Kurusu."

"I want you to be able to do what you want." Akira watched Akechi's hand but it refused to move further. "I-um, I want-" He stopped. What, he wanted him to be able to hurt himself? He couldn't even bring himself to pretend that was the case.

Akechi glared at him and stood. "I thought you wouldn't fix it." His voice was more disapproving than angry. "At least let me go downstairs without your supervision."

Akira nodded. "I'll check if it's empty."

Akechi watched Akira leave. He sighed and took his hand away from his leg. Even with Akira so close, he could feel Maruki's influence threatening to slip into his mind. He closed his eyes and tried to block out the invasive feeling but it was no use. The pressure only eased once Akira was back with him.

"You should be fine." He sat on the bed and gave a weak smile. He watched Akechi go into the cafe and sighed.

Downstairs, Akechi looked around. He walked over to the kitchen area as soon as his eyes caught the reflection on the metal. A foreign presence in his mind grew much stronger as he grabbed the knife he had seen before. It was rather dull but it would work. He immediately held it to his neck but found himself unable to even make contact. Unfortunate but not unexpected.

He remembered the last time Maruki's control on him had slipped enough to make an escape attempt. Blood had gotten everywhere but he was otherwise fine. He hadn't even been able to die and be replaced, no, Akira had to take _that_ away from him too. _Akira_...

Akechi knew he was being irrational. He logically knew that he couldn't get rid of Akira. That even if he _could_ it wouldn't fix anything but... he had to _try_.

He waited until Akira came downstairs. He waited for him to decide that Akechi had had enough freedom and come to claim him. It didn't take as long as he thought. As Akira's footsteps came down the stairs, Akechi could feel how fast his heart was beating. His head was spinning as he prepared himself. He hadn't gotten the chance to even try anything like this since Shido's ship.

When Akira got to the bottom of the stairs, Akechi tried to attack him. He tried to stab him with the knife only to be restrained. His heart sped up as he looked at the black and teal hand that wrapped itself around his wrist with an ironclad grip. He opened his mouth to scream but nothing came out.

The knife clattered to the floor as Goro's hand went limp. He looked down at it, confused, then looked at Akira with equal confusion. Akira seemed shaken but Goro couldn't put together why. He thought it might have something to do with the knife on the floor but his mind was fuzzy and he couldn't quite grasp his thoughts properly.

"Are you okay?" Goro asked, stepping forward ever so slightly. Akira practically jumped forward and pulled him into a crushing hug.

* * *

Sunday was an odd day. There was still a routine to follow, there was always a routine to follow, but it was different from the others.

Goro walked into LeBlanc to see all of his friends gathered. He smiled at them and took his usual seat at the counter before asking Akira for his usual cup of coffee. Sundays were group days. Goro loved group days, he loved seeing his friends even if something about it made him feel restless.

Goro cheerfully held conversations with his friends. He gave each of them the attention they deserved until it grew dark and they began to drift out one by one. It wasn't long before only Akira and Goro remained.

.

.

.

_How could no one else see it?_

.

.

.

Akechi stared at the floor of the cafe. It hadn't worked. How much longer could he do this? 

"Akechi?" Akira's voice was right next to him but he didn't bother to look up. There was no point. He was _stuck_ here. He migrated to a booth and pulled his knees to his chest. What was the point? He rested his head against the back of the booth and said nothing.

Akira looked at how despondent Akechi was. He weighed whether he should sit with him or give him space. He decided to give him space. That was probably what he wanted.

Akira sat at the counter and watched Akechi carefully. He'd think he was sleeping if his eyes weren't open. It would pass... probably. In the months that reality had been distorted, it was not the first time Akechi had gotten like this and it likely wouldn't be the last. Akira hated seeing him like this but if that was how he wanted to cope then he would give him the space he needed today.

Hours passed. Akechi didn't move from his spot at all in that time. A million things ran through his mind as he thought about the position he was in. He hated this, he hated all of it. He would never have any sort of freedom again. Hell, what little illusion he had was already breaking down because he couldn't even fully control his body anymore. He wanted to escape however he could but every option was cut off.

"Akechi?" Akechi slowly turned his head towards Akira. He quickly got up and walked over to him. He crashed their lips together, much to Akira's surprise, and stayed there until they both needed air. He gave Akira a pleading look when they parted. He wanted to _feel_ something. _Anything_.

Akira looked at him for a moment before he leaned in. He kissed him but couldn't bring himself to do more. He pulled back, noticing how angry Akechi looked.

"I fucking hate you." Was all he said before he walked out. Akira watched him stop as soon as he left the building. He watched him lean against the door and fall to the ground where he stayed for the next hour.

* * *

Goro smiled painfully wide as the bell above him gave a happy chime. Everything was too loud. Each movement, each word spoken, it all pounded in Goro's head. He smiled through it all. He drank his coffee, even as it burned and gave a winning smile.

"How's the search going?" Sojiro's words left Goro disoriented. The search? His apartment sprang to mind. Of course, he needed to find one for Akira and himself. They were supposed to be together.

"Not too well I'm afraid." Goro's own voice was painfully small, hardly heard above the ringing in his ears. He held his head and took another sip of his coffee, hardly even noticing the burn anymore. Something was wrong with him. Something was wrong with him. Something was _wrong with_ -

The bell chimed once again. It echoed and echoed until-

"Honey, I'm home." Akira called. His voice was comforting. It reassured Goro that everything would be fine. Goro rushed over to him. He kissed him until his lungs burned, until he could hardly breathe. He gasped for air as Akira smiled at him.

"Let's go upstairs." Goro felt restless as Akira nodded at him. He grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs.

.

.

.

_Why?_

.

.

.

Akechi didn't have the energy to move as he laid on Akira's bed. Akira sat next to him and began to pet his hair. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about." Akechi felt distant from himself. He became vaguely aware that he was disassociating. "What's the point?"

"What?" Akira stopped. He took his hand away but Akechi grabbed it back. Akira sighed and went back to repeating the motions.

"What's the point?" He slowly closed his eyes, trying to block out the word around him. "I can't do this."

Akira grabbed Akechi's hand as he continued to pet his hair. "I'm here."

"Lucky me." Akechi sighed. "Why won't you let me die?"

"Akechi-"

"It was better than this." Akira squeezed his hand as he continued. "I didn't have to deal with this fucking nightmare."

Akira leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Akechi's forehead. Akechi didn't react. He didn't do _anything_. "Do you want to go back?"

"No." His breathing picked up. His hand tightened around Akira's until it was painful. "I can't go back- I-"

"Akechi, hey-"

Akechi looked up at Akira with pleading eyes. "Why do you keep making me go back?" All Akira could do was look away.

* * *

Goro woke up in his bed. He felt more exhausted than usual. As he laid there, limbs heavy, eyes begging to slip closed, he mentally went over his morning routine.

Get up ~~for Akira~~ , get dressed ~~for Akira~~ , look for an apartment ~~for Akira~~ , then wait at LeBlanc for Akira.

Goro turned over and went back to bed. He broke the routine. It felt amazing.

.

.

.

He spent the day in bed,

.

.

.

Then another,

.

.

.

And another,

.

.

.

_And another,_

.

.

.

 _And_ **_another,_**

.

.

.

**_And another..._ **

.

.

.

Goro heard a knock on the door. He lifted his head to look but everything was so fuzzy. His head dropped back onto the pillow after a few seconds. He closed his eyes again and went back to bed.

.

.

.

Goro heard a knock on the door. It was loud and frantic but he found it quickly fading into the background as a fog consumed his mind. After less then a second, he was fast asleep.

.

.

.

Goro heard a knock on the door. He tried to get up but his limbs would hardly listen to him. Eventually he laid back down. His eyes slowly closed-

.

.

.

Goro heard a knock on the door. Something clicked. He stumbled out of bed and towards his front door. He used counters and door frames to keep himself steady before he opened the door. He beamed at his boyfriend who stood on the other side. Goro stepped to the side and Akira entered. He closed the door behind-

.

.

.

_His entire being fractured only for the cracks to be covered up._

.

.

.

himself as Goro watched him carefully.

Akira looked at Goro, his eyes full of worry before Goro stepped forward. He smiled at the younger boy and brought him in for a gentle kiss. Akira immediately recoiled as if he'd been burned. Goro stared at him for a moment, feeling a headache coming on.

"I wanted to talk to Akechi." Akira said to no one in particular. Goro held his head as pressure built. He fell to the ground as his vision became blurred. His breathing became labored as _something_ tried to claw its way out. He searched for Akira but he couldn't see.

.

.

.

Akechi gasped for air. He fell forward but Akira caught him.

"Akechi-"

"Fuck off." Akechi tried to push him away but his movements were sluggish. His arms felt incredibly weak.

"You haven't been around." Akira gave an uneasy smile. "I was worried you might have-"

" _Died?_ " Akechi noted with satisfaction how the color drained from Akira's face. He looked away. "I wish I had but apparently I can't starve to death or die of dehydration."

Akira hugged him. "I don't want you-" Akechi immediately covered his mouth. He glared daggers at Akira.

"You better fucking watch the next words that come out of your mouth." He slowly removed his hand.

"I don't want to see you suffering like this."

Akechi let out a bitter laugh. "Then let me die Kurusu." He leaned in closer and continued in a low voice, "Stop being a selfish coward and let me go."

Akira looked away. "I can't."

"Then we're at a standstill, aren't we?"

Akira looked at him for a moment. "I wanted you to be happy." His arms dropped and Akechi backed away. "I'm sorry."

He felt his chest tighten. He felt dread at what was about to come next. He tried to stop him but his body stopped responding. He was forced to sit on his floor motionless as Akira ripped away the last shreds of his free will.

"I'm sorry, Akechi." He shook his head. "I can't keep-"

" _You?_ " Akechi glared as much as he was able to.

"We're _both_ suffering Akechi." Akira grabbed his hand. "I just want it to stop."

"I see you took Maruki's cult bullshit to heart Akira." He tried to look away but found himself unable to. "I thought you'd be better than this."

Akira paused for a second before he squeezed Akechi's hand. "I love you."

"If you really did then you wouldn't be doing this."

* * *

Goro walked into LeBlanc, his entrance punctuated by the happy chime of the bell. He looked around the cafe feeling... empty. He shrugged it off as he went through the motions with no real passion.

He made small talk with Sojiro but found himself unable to put his sole focus on the man. His eyes drifted towards the clock. Only a few more minutes until Akira came home. Strangely enough, he couldn't muster the same excitement that he had before. Despite the week they spent apart, it just didn't feel the same.

Goro drank his coffee. He complemented Sojiro but the words held no real meaning. It was all just waiting. Waiting for the bell that eventually chimed.

"I'm home." Akira announced with a wide grin. Goro approached him as if on a track. He kissed his boyfriend and felt absolutely nothing. That was fine. Akira seemed happy so he could be too.

They went upstairs together. Nothing happened, but why would it have? Goro sat on Akira's bed while Akira laid across his lap, a wide smile on his face as he talked about his perfect day. All Goro did was smile and nod. Some part of him knew he was missing something important but he couldn't care. It was meaningless.

When Goro went home on the train, he blacked out. He woke up again at LeBlanc to the happy chime of the bell. Goro smiled and went through his routine. He waited for Akira. His purpose. Nothing was okay but... _he_ didn't matter. All that mattered was Akira.


End file.
